Love and Hate, Aren't They All The Same?

I love you, and I hate you

For all the things that you did

For the days we laughed 

And the days you screamed

The days you hugged,

And for the days you shunned me

You loved me because I'm your daughter,

But you hated because I looked like you did

You hated your body

And thought I should also do

Why can't me and you go to therapy?

Just pills ain't gonna fix it

I have heard your pleas

Long before I even knew how to scream

I was young, only a child

And now I can't even work out my own mind

Because I am so worried you'll beat me clear

You taught me to survive,

But shouldn't I have learned grammar?

I read books till my eyes closed down

Because my own life is too hard to look upon.

You bring me to doctors, 

Who can't see it in my eyes

Doctors, whose only worry is writing things down

They can't see the tears running out,

The way my throat closes and hope once again dies

I don't have anyone to talk to

You have alienated me since childhood.

"I'm your only friend, the only one you can talk to"

Nowhere to run, I stay in place

Hoping and waiting for one day

To leave and get back the life you stole from me

The life that's been trying to reach me.